props goes out to russia, couldn't have done it without they/them

Dildos not drones: Ukrainians hack Russian fighter’s account and buy $25k worth of sex toys

KYIV — Ukrainian activists say they hacked the online shopping account of a Russian military volunteer who has been buying drones for Moscow’s forces — and splashed the cash on sex toys.

The group Kiber Sprotyv (Cyber Resistance) said they targeted the AliExpress account of Mikhail Luchin — a friend of pro-Russian military blogger Vladlen Tatarsky (aka Maxim Fomin), who was killed in a St. Petersburg café explosion on Sunday. Luchin has been collecting money to buy drones for Russian troops to use in Ukraine.

“He is a war criminal, volunteer, blogger and now dildo owner,” the hackers said in a statement, publishing screenshots of them using Luchin’s account with AliExpress, a Chinese-run online store. The Ukrainians claimed they bought $25,000 worth of sex toys through Luchin’s account.

They added that Luchin was now the owner of a “unique” collection of “dicks” worth $25,000, money he was “planning to spend on drones for the Russian army.”

“Now instead of drones, he will have to send trucks full of vibrators, strapons, and other very valuable things for the Russian people.”

Luchin confirmed his email and AliExpress account were hacked by the Ukrainians, but claimed he managed to get back most of the money that had been spent — except for 17,000 rubles (€195) worth of sex toys that had already been delivered. The Russian also said it was “sad” that there are “not enough Kalibr” missiles to hit the hackers.

In response, Kiber Sprotyv said Luchin was lying about the money being returned. Later, Luchin wrote a second Telegram post in which he said he will open up a sex shop in Russia and buy even more drones than originally planned.