The Cloverfield Paradox - Why it Sucks

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skeptoid's picture

Sets out to explain. Fails miserably.

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thrasymacus's picture

The gun.  The guy used some kinda security over ride.  Possible because there was a weird pre war tension between Russia and Germany and he was the most motivated by politics.  Needed better setup, like a scene where he's in contact with Russian NASA or whatever, on the sly.

 

The Googly eye.  After the accident some people traded dimensional places.  In the case of  the Russian, there were two Russians in one body, hence the googly eye and talking to himself.  Why was he convinced the German had to be arrested? Because in the the dimension of Russian #2, the German was a saboteur. 

 

The Foosball table.  I guarantee this same shitdick enthuses orgasmically when a movie he likes connects an early and later scene.  What? Is that not allowed?  I guess The Shining and million other movies are stupid too.

 

Space magic opens the door.  Actually the disembodied helpful arm opened the door.  Baron Zemo discovers it in his next scene.

 

The Battery/Space gyro in the Russian corpse.  Ok, that was dumb.  At least, if there was a reason, I missed it.

 

Quantum Entanglement.  I think Baron Zemo probably does know a thing or two about science.  He's smart enough to have created infinite energy, so, yeah.  At that point, I'm going to suspend my disbelief.  Yes the line 'From what we know about Quantum Entanglement...' is horrible and obviously just there to move the plot along and is just way too super conveenient.  But still, if he's already broken the fundemental laws of the universe, maybe in this world, they know shit.  If you have a power to break the universe, however ill advised, presumably scientiffic advances have been made.

 

Briene ices the bald dude because it's implied that he betrayed her, he himself being from her dimension, having replaced his original.  Yet she didn't blow his cover.  Relative to how shitty their escape plan is, her plan of hijacking the station actually makes sense.  Also, seeing as dimension #1 now has clover monsters, that was actually the better outcome.

 

'You weren't even in the room'.  Ok.  Good point.  Except maybe the saboteur in dimension #2 also had a gun, and the Captain did the exact same thing.  So if she caught wind of the gun, she had a good clue were to look for it.

 

Gotta agree overall, shoehorning the Clover universe into what could have been a decent space station disaster movie wasn't necessary.  But this was a pretty shit critique.  Also, huge demerit for speaking with vocal fry.  Just reminds me of the mic chatter of angry American teenage boys in online games. As in, "I'm basically still a kid, but listen to my petulantly and overly sardonic voice and understand how done with it all I am. I can't even."  ribbit ribbit croak croak.

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